Spoken word is the foundation of psychology. The extent to which we understand the intricacies of our dialogue benchmarks wisdom. Let’s call these dialogues transactions.
If transactions were to be utterly transparent to ourselves and others, a conflict wouldn’t exist, but there will also be no intensity as the transactional flavour is symptomatic of its flaw.
So essentially some sort of balanced misunderstanding is usual, reasonable, and we need it. Those with greater clarity remain displeased, and the ignorant blissfully dance in havoc. Spending time analysing our transactions for clarification would be only slightly to adjust our position of transactional wisdom, and not fix its entirety. Knowing too much may be harmful.
The human dialogue is exuberantly complex, rooted in emotional backfill, staged with history and reference, and charged with sensuality. It’s visible throughout the body, the face, the eyes, the lips. In transactions, even the most straightforward comment has its roots in these factors, undeniably contaminating its actuality yet flavouring it well for its recipient.
The journey of transactional wisdom starts with an explorative, “Why?”. Finding the roots of our dialogue is a great start. I’d recommend looking back to the time you turned seven.